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If you want your trees to grow like they are trying to escape Earth’s gravity, you have to stop treating them like pets and start treating them like a forest. You can hit 2 metres a year easy if you follow the rules. Forget the tiny holes and the lonely bags of potting mix. We are building a high-speed engine here. The Groundwork

First, stop looking at your sand and start covering it. You need to dump 3 cubes of Enviro mulch from soils ain't soils. Do not just look at it; mix it roughly with what you have. You want a thick blanket between 3cm and 15cm across the whole surface. To give the soil some actual guts, add 100kg of Mineral Magic from Primal Fruits Perth and a full cube of Charlie Charcoal from Green Life Soil Company. This stops your nutrients from just washing away the second you turn the hose on. It turns your dirt into a battery that stays charged. The Crowd

Planting one tree every few metres is a waste of space and time. You want it dense. Leave a 1m wide walking path so you can actually get in there, then pack the rest with 3 to 5 plants per square metre. Trees love a crowd. They push each other to grow taller and faster to reach the light. It is like a botanical race where everyone wins. Also change the way you think about gardens and the bush, plants are dynamic and do a lot of their own sorting out. The Fast Starters I only deal with food trees, therefore this list makes food, if you want fast growing natives consult the fine people that know that world really well, all I know is that it's a whole set of other guidelines. If you want speed, you need the heavy hitters. Pick from these speed demons: White Mulberry and King White Shahtoot are the undisputed kings of fast growth. Java Plum and Waterbush handle the Perth heat well. Ice Cream Bean tastes like dessert and grows like a weed. Moringa is the miracle tree that never sleeps. Ficus palmata and Candlenut add great variety. Tipuana tipu is a top choice even though you cannot eat it because it fixes nitrogen and shades the rest. The Support Crew

Do not let your big trees do all the work. Throw in heaps of Pigeon Pea and other nitrogen fixers. These are the life support for your forest. They grab food from the air and put it into the ground for the other trees to use. If you do this right, you will not just be growing trees; you will be managing a green explosion. Just make sure you have some sharp pruners ready, or you might get lost in your own driveway by Christmas. Don't worry about the neighbours staring; they will be begging for fruit once your forest takes over the street. A fast growing backbone, reduces wind, less need for heavy watering, protects from heat and cold, reduces electricity house bills and creates free fertiliser. Some will stay for generations, other trees you could decide to grow to cut down in time.